out of my mind

I think I’ve outlived and outstayed my short ‘break’. You know how when you sleep too many hours, and your body has rested enough but your brain hasn’t, so your eyes refuse to open but your bones ache so much that you just want to rip through skin and flesh and give them a good hard stretch so that they crack in every direction possible?

It’s funny how when you’re so busy with work and life, it’s always so-many-things-to-do,-so-little-time-to-do-it-in. Dinner with colleauges, coffee with friends, get in touch with old friends, play the guitar a bit more, blog more regularly and sensibly, revamp the web site, tidy up the room, excercise a little, spruce up the blog with a proper direction, catalogue the CD collection, learn to cook something else, learn to bake a cake, read all the 73 unread books on the floor, squeeze in a bit more net-surfing forum-reading time. Well, I did achieve some things. My room actually looks like a human being and not an orc inhabits it. My computer table and writing desk has an actual working surface. My CDs, DVDs and books are finally not stacked on the floor gathering dust bunnies. I’ve moved my blog address.

And that’s about it. Because sometimes when you take a break, you just want to be as unproductive as possible. So after a week, I resumed my habitual ‘there’smorehoursinadaythanIknowwhattodowithsoanythingandeverythingcanalwaysbepostponedtolater’ attitude. The life-long procrastinator aka the lazy-as-Hades-bum/bumette. It’s always the same ol’ cycle. Because now, I just want to do something productive…anything.

My blog still looks like a haphazard collection of something I threw together when I was actually bothered to write something, which ultimately means nothing. My bass has 5 months worth of dust on it. I haven’t learnt to cook anything new. My handphone hasn’t rang in 2 months. I still weigh the same. The 73 books are still unread. My web site is so outdated even your grandmother could do better. I still need to look in 3 locations before being able to locate a CD. And I’m going nuts cooped up in the house with my mama 7 days a week.

AND this stupid post is so deja-vu and so blah I feel like tearing my hair out. If I were somebody else, I’d yawn a huge mouth-splitting yawn right in my face. oy….

Blogged with Flock


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