he's a Yuppie, they're Dinky, i'm Whiny!

wah seh…i tio cowboy-ed…

in other slow-breaking news stories, moi went on a shopping spree on saturday. I’ve been going through a gu niang phase recently, what with the facials and heeled slippers (which I’ve only worn once so far), so said shopping spree consisted only of girly stuff. of coz if my colleagues saw it, F would laff and say in her exaggerated not-meaning-to-put-down tone are you sure anot? and W would tell everybody and nobody that aiya it’s only going to last 1 week la, next week she’ll be the same again, which might be true. But let me wallow in it for a while la, ah. You can only sit beside N for so many years without being influenced by her ^_^

early early on saturday morning, or rather, noon, I kena-ed the bloody Watson’s promotion auntie … again! I always bloody do! it’s always, in very loud tones ‘miss ah, 小姐 ah, 小妹 ah‘, ‘your skin very oily/verydry hor‘, or ‘your hair very dry hor‘, or ‘you VERRRY fat hor‘…nabeh, auntie, i know la, i know la, after 33 years, you would think I know that I’m a bloody obese, ugly, short cow … you want to talk louder and tell the whole shop anot, want anot. ok, if it’s 小妹, I can forgive you a bit.

This time round, apparently my skin was very dry (as opposed to the past 1001 times when said-skin was an oil-slick), did I want to try out her bloody Silky Pr* product? When I told her politely I was using other products from my facial place, auntie decided to get nasty and pointed at a bottle of BODY firming cream in my hand and said ‘huh, u do facial mah, why u still buy this for ur face, why ur facial place never do meh, huuuh?‘. And before I could do anything besides stare in bewildered amusement, auntie put her precious product back in place, walked back to another promoter she was chatting with before, and shrugged her shoulders as if to say ‘ fat, ugly girl’s own loss if she don’t listen to me‘. BODY la, auntie, BODY…身體 and 臉部 … 差很多 hor, liew…

but then again, ok la ok la, I admit I have to lose a few pounds, not much la, maybe 50 pounds or so only. I took my Real Age and shite, I’m 5 years older than my actual age, and a lot of that has to do with my always-on-my-arse lifestyle. Is 1 pound a day too much? How am I going to do that? I love eating leh…how la??!! give ideas, quick…got comments, got tagbox…go,go! btw, is there a Over-Eaters Anon. or Fat-People Anon. or Obesity Anon. chapter in Singapore?

Why this sudden fit of gu niang-ness? Becuase a poly classmate got married yesterday and invited a bunch of us, and damnit, these pple whom I’ve known since we were 17, 18 still look hot! they look hot, even the mother of the 8-month old looks hot, they’re living the swinging (no, not that swinging) single life or the happily married life, (what’s the latest? yuppie? dinky? whiny? eh no, whiny is just me), they’ve got it all leh.

so now, at the advanced age of 32-going-on-loser, moi has got to gerroff my arse and do something…anything, short of drowning myself coz I’m too ugly and deformed, coz that’s just not done anymore, it’s so last-last-century.


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