Why has it become this?

A day after I moved my blog, I’m wondering why I did it. Did I do it to avoid them? Did I do it for some privacy? Did I do it for fun? The thing is, a blog’s private, but if you put a post there that criticizes somebody else, even a friend, is it bad?

They always tell me, they want to scold other people or things but don’t dare to in case somebody discovers their blog and realizes the post is scolding them. They even set up a separate blog with pseudonyms to scold whoever or whatever they want.

But, wait a minute, if you don’t write what you want in your blog, then what is it about? My reply to them is always, just write whatever you want to, it’s your blog anyway. If the people you are scolding actually discover it, so what? If you have to deny your own feelings so that other people feel good, do you think it’s going to make you a saint? Does acting the martyr make you more superior and better than the rest of us? Maybe, I ask myself, I’m doing the same thing by moving and ‘hiding’ my blog, but hey, I know how to justify my actions too. At least I’m still using the same design, my real handle and an address that’s right there in front of everybody, if they knew where to look. At least I’m not using fake names and fake blogs.

But do I want to and have to hide from them? Maybe I do. Those feelings came out on New Year’s eve…what a great night it was. Thanks to Chris and Jean for helping me discover them.

The thing is, I’m thinking, how can you justify your actions or words like this when I can see right through them? Once you told us, don’t do it, don’t say it. Now you do or say the exact same thing you prevented us from, and justify your actions with high-sounding reasons. Once it was “no politics, no exclusiveness, no cliqish behaviour”. Now it seems that none of that matters because, now YOU who wnnt it. Does that disgust me? Yes, it does.

It saddens me to see and hear all these things happening right now, but what can I do to prevent it when everybody else just wants to listen to you and nobody else? I feel so hypocritical that sometimes I just have to say something and those words piss them off. I know it does, but that’s me. Anything else lesser than that would make me just like them.

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